Mood:

As you may know, my ongoing online dating situation has been the stuff of [legends]. I've managed to squeeze a few dates out of it, but it's basically sucked ass.
Yet, I think I may have touched the nadir of my experience this morning when I opened the profile on one match and the first words of this woman's narrative were "I want to die in a vegan world..."
I thought it might have been a parody of some kind, but no. It continued on in this vein for the rest of the profile.
Let's be clear: veganism is unnatural. Which means it's the practice of freaks and perverts. Man only exists because he eats animals and uses their byproducts. People who don't understand this are condemned to die unsatisfied and hungry. Piss on 'em.
If God exists, he'll send me a full-bodied, raven-haired wench who likes to eat meat.
Veganism! Jesus....