Congratulations!
Mood:  celebratory
Israel has just put a missile down the throat of the "spiritual leader" of Hamas, Ahmed Yassin. So long, you sorry motherfucker. Best news I've heard in days!

Tales from Cartographic Notions
Mood:  a-ok
Courtesy of The Politburo Diktat, here are some very interesting future maps of the Iberian Peninsula. Enjoy!

Don't Be Givin' Ringo No New Ideas!
A story in the Jerusalem Post reports that Arafat watched The Passion of the Christ earlier today and was mightily impressed. Naturally, he likened the Nazarene's suffering to that of the Palestinians, but the analogy would have to break down at the point where one realizes that Jesus was not a psychopathic murderer being exploited by the hypocritical oligarchies of neighboring states.

Anyway, Arafat hardly needs instructions on how to kill Jews. Why use cat o' nine tails and crucifixes when a young mother strapped with dynamite is so much more bang-for-your-buckly?

Howard Stern Sucks
Mood:  irritated
Howard Stern sucks. The only time I ever really liked that guy was back in the mid-80s when he'd show up on Letterman. Back then, he was genuinely funny because he had to be; he couldn't fall back on a bunch of dick jokes and observations on T&A.

I admit that I don't listen to Stern, but what is it about him that's so great? Is his show on E! any indication of what he does, or is that a distortion? From what I can tell, all he does is make fun of freaks and women. And, if you're a porn star (or, a wannabe porn star), Stern will be happy to have you come on his show and splay your moneymaker or let him feel your fake tits.

I mean, what else does he do? Seriously, if you listen to him, drop me a line and let me know how it is that he is now some sort of great martyr to the First Amendment and that what he does is not simply verbally masturbate for three hours a day.

Here's the deal: these are truly fucked-up days for free speech and artistic expression. You can take your five year-old to a movie to see a man be shredded to pieces for two hours and feel okay about it because it's a depiction of Jesus of Nazareth's life and death. You can go on and on for dozens of news cycles over Janet Jackson showing her studded plastic tit to the world for half a second and it's the end of Western Civilization. You can be fined to the tune of a half-million dollars for letting one "fuck" slip past you. What the hell?

All I know is that people glom on to the weakest, unworthiest shit to make their point with an ever-depressingly simple-minded society. Making a free speech martyr out of a guy who didn't get laid in high school and is now acting out his most retarded desires over the airwaves is an embarrassment.

I don't care if Stern continues to broadcast his brand of crap from here to the crack of doom. The bottom line is that I wouldn't listen to it for even a minute. But, if parents out there lack the time or the character to sit their kids down and explain why they won't permit them to listen to that garbage or any of the other garbage that fills their heads, then maybe the Government does have some reason to put the fear of God into these broadcasters. I hate saying that because I hate censorship. For me, it's a matter of choice; I know how to find the tuner dial. But, shit is shit, and you can't just sit there with your thumb up your ass and act like morning talk radio isn't a bunch of degenerate and juvenile filth.

I just don't know. Let me hear your opinions.

An Infelicitous Turn of Phrase
Mood:  accident prone
Every now and then, I will be contacted by a distant cousin who has seen some old genealogical query or posting of mine on a common ancestor. This happened yesterday with a cousin on one of my Grandmother's maternal lines. She is descended from a woman named Fanny, who was the little sister of my ancestress Cornelia. (Is there any doubt that the internet is the greatest thing since sliced bread?)

Anyhow, although I am fortunate enough to have a few pictures of Cornelia, I have no idea what Fanny looked like. So, I e-mailed my new cousin with the news that I will soon be sending her a few pictures I have of Cornelia and, as a hint, further wrote that, "I would very much like to see some pictures of your Fanny."

Well, I guffawed at my unintentional proposition before I could even finish typing it, but decided to go ahead with it, anyway, in hopes that she would not take offense at my potential violation of the FCC's new rules.

Stay tuned. If there's even the remotest possibility of my offending a woman with my words, especially online, I will be slapped down. No question.

SXSW: Nazi Pigs Brutalize Los Angeles Band
Some band from Los Angeles called Ozomatli had a run-in with the cops downtown a couple nights ago when they took their usual conga line finale bit outside the club where they were playing, apparently in violation of the city's noise ordinance. Since it was after 2 AM, the cops told them to stop playing ---and one of them refused, which turned the situation from uptight to blown-out. Lots of pepper-spraying and head-knocking ensued, winding three members of the group and its entourage up in the pokey.

Once again, this town, which styles itself the "live music capital of the world," is about as amenable to spontaneity and rowdiness as suburban Waco. Okay, so the cops were simply enforcing the rules on the books, but this week is supposed to be ours to bask in the wonderful glow of the nation's (and world's) music press. We've got a thousand-plus bands here from every corner of the globe and we're supposed to be showing how hip and bat-shit hospitable we are. And we'd better be: these people are blowing many millions of dollars on this thing.

I don't know all the details of why the one guy in the band didn't lay off. One of the local news stations said that Ozomatli has a reputation for what I would call the manufacture of anecdote. And they have a penchant for "activism," which I fear, when I finally get around to looking at their website, is going to have something to do with the mistreatment of indigenous peoples by the dominant white power structure. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, I am terribly sorry that these kids got beat up and sprayed, but it's only because our city's cops aren't what they used to be. They're a rather straitened lot, much like the politicians who command them.

And the locals down there who don't want any noise? You picked a tough place to be, you nouveaux riche assholes. Next time out, find a slightly less conspicuous locale to announce that you've "made it."

But, the award for Least Able to Keep Her Shit Together in this whole affair is Ozomatli's manager, Sue Blackman-Romero, who was just blubbering like a ferry accident survivor. Jesus, woman! Get a grip! I might have cried, too, after spending a day behind bars, but you've got to maintain. Unless, of course, that whole thing was performance art. Uh, oh....

Goodbye, J.J.
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles
I was sorry to hear last night of the death of one of the first MTV VJ's, J.J. Jackson. He was a very cool cat, funny and warm. I always took him to be the grown-up of that first (and best) bunch that MTV offered up. What a fall from those early days they've taken!

I hope the shallow-minded porn-flakes who run the show there now will have the decency to do a fitting retrospective on how J.J. Jackson set the standards, but I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, goodbye, J.J. These lame-asses aren't fit to carry one of your fur-covered fedoras.

A Knowing Grin
Mood:  vegas lucky
I've recently developed a weird, almost papist-like fascination with cheap 7-day candles, two or three of which I keep burning in my home at any given time. Here in Texas, we are fortunate to have a really great chain of grocery stores called H.E.B. where I get mine for about a buck a candle. (H.E.B. is named after the owner of its first location, one Henry Edward Butt, whom my father insisted had a daughter named Ophelia, which I rather doubt.)

Anyway, I enjoy these candles a lot because, for one thing, I can't believe how long they last. And, as well, I enjoy the kitsch value of having candles which bear the images of various Latin American Catholic saints and prayers on the other side of the jars written in Spanish, a little bit of which I can just make out.

But, my favorite of these candles is the one devoted to the "martyr" Pancho Villa, his image resplendent with sombrero and bandoliers. It is perfectly out of place in my home ---and I love it. I knew that Villa was a folk hero to the Mexicans, but I had no idea that he had graduated to martyrdom. Jeeze, maybe the Bishop of Rome will beatify him for the miracle of evading Black Jack Pershing.

So, I bought several Pancho Villas this morning (as well as one called an "alleged" double action candle) at the H.E.B. The lady who was checking my items out paused to study one of them and gave me this priceless look of bemusement. I just grinned at her. We both knew I was full of shit.

But, maybe not: I think my candles must be working because, on my way home from work tonight, I was almost killed at an intersection when this stupid fuck ran a red light. In fact, I still don't know why I didn't die. What a blur! I have no idea how I avoided getting T-boned by that irresponsible sack of shit, but I did. I was so rattled by it that I kept on driving for maybe another hundred yards before I realized that I should turn back around to see if anyone had got scraped. But, when I did, there wasn't a car in sight.

So, viva la luz! Viva Villa!

More on the Franco-Iraqi Sleazefest
Mood:  chillin'
Enjoy some more. Have a look at this to see what really motivated Chiraq and that enemy of the American government, Villepin.

Are these the foreign leaders from whom Kerry has obtained political support? Unless he comes forth to declare one way or the other, is there any doubt that the American voter will start to believe that Chiraq has given Kerry his class ring?

This is Your Tyrant. This Is Your Tyrant on Sanctions.
Here's a little something for the anti-war crowd to enjoy. What do you want to bet that Chiraq was drawing on old Saddam's pipe, too?

Fisking Sluggo
Some more of that old-time fisking, this time from Sluggo:

Jews are just muslims with a superiority complex.

Could be. Could be justified.

They are nothing compared to the true church.

Except that they are the sine qua non of Christianity, and that the enire edifice of your religion is based on the laws and letters of those whom you despise. Nice system you got there, Sluggo.

The light of the West shall cleanse the wicked, the unjust, and the heretic.

Ahh! Some papal bull!

You can tell them by their deeds.

Sure. The Old Testament, the New Testament (bastardized), the great majority of their moral precepts, etc.

Every time you lash out in their defense, you cheapen your soul.

I don't have a soul.

Every time you trumpet their praises you condemn yourself before the almighty.

There is no Almighty.

etc. etc. yakketa yakketa...world without end amen.

I can see your heart's just not in it. Today.

Fisking Johnny Feelgood
Below is a recent comment by the improbably-named Johnny Feelgood, a reader of this blog. My words are interlined and italicized:

(Somehow my last post did not make the cut.

I don't censor comments here, except if they're accidental dupes or completely off-topic. I'll even allow remarks from obvious anti-Semites. But, I don't know why I didn't get your last remarks.

We'll see how this one goes. I tried to be a little more vitriolic to see if that is more your taste.)

Yes, I like vitriol.

You constantly rail on the left while sitting bitch (your phrase) for Herr Bush's imperialist policies

Your clumsy implication is that our President is a Nazi. How stupid of you. Do you know anything about History? The Nazis went to war to deprive people of their human rights and to murder them. Uncle Sam has gone to war to liberate a country from a regime of repressive psychopaths. If you think that that's "imperialist," then I suppose you're stupid enough to be a Democrat.

and referring to anyone opposing the American colonization of Iraq and Haiti as "those who hate America."

Your use of the word colonization is ignorant. We are occupying Iraq as a military force because we chose to liberate its population from tyranny. Some day, we will relinquish control to a stable Iraqi government and our deed will have been done, thereby letting our men and women come home.

As for Haiti, you apparently have no idea of that country's history. Name me one piece of evidence that would lead you to believe that Haiti is an American colony.

But I have not seen any comment from you on Commadante Bush's plan for rolling back all of our civil liberties in the name of Homeland Security.

Anyone who believes that the President alone, or any and all the branches of the Government together, have the power to roll back "all of our civil liberties" deserves to have his taken away. Forever. These accusations of the Bush Administration's police state mentality made by the Left are embarrassing bullshit. Name me even one example of the Patriot Act depriving you of your civil liberties and I will show you that your example is a tool already available to any district attorney and a compliant judge anywhere.

Indeed, what could be more anti-American than providing the jack-booted government thugs (Bush Sr.'s characterization of Premier Bush's henchmen) easy access to every aspect of innocent citizens' lives?

I'm not getting your reference to Bush the Elder, but the rest of your statement is incorrect, anyway: it is not "easy" to get permission for surveillance on a terrorist suspect. You still gotta go see a judge and otherwise justify yourself. And, consider also that the Government has too few resources to be "spying" on everyone. Why would they want to do that, anyway? Conspiracism very often bleeds to death on Occam's Razor.

Yet that is what is happening.

Horseshit. That's a myth to keep the hippies and the militia men warm at night.

The government now wants to require every internet connection to have a back door so that the government can back-door innocent citizens.

The Government wants to be able to have a back-door on suspicious [citizens]. Yeah, yeah, I know: it's a slippery-slope argument, but the truth is that, if the G wants to know something about you, it will already. Or, are you under some illusion that we live in a perfect libertarian utopia now?

What is your view on what it means to be an American?

It means speaking English and voting and reading the news and paying your taxes. It means having choices and freedoms and pursuits of happiness. What does it mean to you? Sharing the wealth? Being obedient to the State? Going along to get along?

What does that give us besides an SUV,

I don't own an SUV and I think most people who do are overpaid bullies.

a NASCAR,

I don't get this. Is it a slam against blue-collar mullet-wearers who like cheap domestic beer and Pamela Anderson? Well, at least your wing of the Democratic Party isn't burdened with a sense of community with the unclean masses.

and a lot of self-righteousness?

Who taught you that self-righteousness is always wrong?

Is it not the freedom to conduct our lives without government intrusion?

Only in a libertarian's pipe dream. Unless you think you're free from taxation, licenses, permits, jury duty, traffic laws, the criminal and civil codes, etc.

Please comment, my friend.

Done.

Remember, a vote for Bush is a vote for those who hate individual freedoms.

Thanks for reading my blog. Tell your friends.

Great News for the Kerry Camp
Mood:  a-ok
Great news for John Kerry's Presidential campaign: turns out that the former prime minister of Malaysia ---and a bald-faced anti-Semite--- Mahathir Mohamad, has endorsed the junior U.S. Senator from Massachusetts.

I assume that this disclosure of support will prompt more (and even "foreign") leaders to come out of the closet and give Kerry their big thumbs up.

Coming Attractions
The Syrians are arresting, torturing, and murdering Kurds. Even Amnesty International says so.

Sounds to me like Damascus is taking our measure. Maybe they figure we're overextended in Iraq as it is. Maybe they're counting on some antagonism among the Iraqi Kurds, adding to the potential for civil unrest in the nascent democracy next door. Either way, it's a problem for the President: he can't open up a new front without the anti-war mob blowing its stack, and he can't have Kurdish Iraq calling for Assad's head.

Syria's hiding Saddam's WMD. You know that's true. If GWB wins in November, we're going to be in Damascus within six months. And then all of the legalistic, proceduralistic multilateralists can choke on the news that we found the evil shit that everyone from Ritter to Blix to Kay said they believed existed and couldn't find.

Why the Democrats Cannot Be Trusted to Defend America
Bill Bennett has made an outstanding case for the defeat of Kerry and the Democrats this November. They are simply not to be trusted with our national defense. They have absolutely chickened out of their proud legacy as a party that stood for human liberty everywhere, and for what reason? Because they hate the President. And they have let their almost-psychotic reaction to this man dictate the entirety of their foreign policy.

Remember: a vote for Kerry is a vote for those who hate America.

An Old Saw
When do the ends not justify the means?

Hans Blix feels "vindicated" that no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq, although his feelings are neither dispositive with respect to the actual truth nor accurate in terms of what we already know. But, guess what? I don't care. I don't care about "The Sixteen Words" or the yellowcake or sexed-up dossiers or how many minutes til launch or the meaning of an imminent threat or whether Saddam knew Atta or anything else.

The anti-war Left is a morally bankrupt drag on Civilization. Their hypocrisy and lack of principles are a glaring fault in their edifice. They were silent in the face of Saddam's countless brutalities committed against his own people, against others, against the environment, and against humanity. They extol the virtues of the UN and, yet, are opposed to those very demonstrations of power which give that sickly organization even the semblance of legitimacy. They supported sanctions because they could not bring themselves to support force ---and what was the result? Utter corruption that kept Saddam in decadent safety and many of our supposed allies on the take. That's a story that hasn't been told well or often enough, but keep listening. Keep listening and you'll find out that France and Germany and Russia and the others didn't oppose our liberation of Iraq on principle, but because they were getting rich off of the sanctions.

A decadent and supine Europe is thought to be the moral exemplar in the world? Their way is the right way? John Kerry and those of his ilk think we've squandered our country's moral leadership in their eyes? What disgusting nonsense! What an absolute perversion of the truth!

Oh, I'm sure your "powerful" European friends are eager to help you defeat Bush this November, you lousy waffling weasel. And you take pride in their support, don't you? You and Zapatero and Chiraq and Schroeder all know what a "distraction" this war in Iraq has been from the war on terrorists, right? But, while you fiddle and fudge and foment, our simple-minded fool in Christ (it's an old Russian trope, but that's what Bush is) has gone about remaking the Middle East. He's like Theodore Roosevelt building the Panama Canal: he went ahead and built it and let the Congress debate about it after.

Whatever Iraq will become, it will not be what it was. It will produce statesmen with a great desire for human and civil rights because it has known their absence for far too long. It will continue to earn its future with blood, but that's a prerequisite to ablution. We, as Americans, have made this transformation possible ---we and our friends have. But, with our might and right, we have done more to change the dynamics of the Middle East and South Asia than any have in half a century. Libya has come clean. Afghanistan is throwing off the Taliban. Syria and Iran are tottering. And Pakistan has been made into something very like an ally. These are huge developments and it is the leadership of a very few who have brought us to this point.

11 September was a cause of war. It can also be a cause of peace, if only the detractors will shut up and see it through.

This One's Got Legs
Mood:  mischievious
The hole is getting deeper for Kerry and his boast of political support from foreign leaders. The Boston Globe reporter Patrick Healy, who was the one assigned to the Florida fundraiser where Kerry made his claim, now says that he mistranscribed Kerry's words. Kerry did not say anything about "foreign" leaders, but "more" leaders.

The only problem with this is that the context of the quote and Kerry's subsequent defense of it makes it clear that Kerry did say "foreign leaders." If Kerry had said "more" leaders, he would have immediately come out to say that Healy's transcription was wrong.

There are about a half-dozen different facets of this episode Kerry now finds himself in ---and I'm loving every one of them:

1) Kerry publicly boasted to a small klavern of Democrats that he has been in face-to-face communications with foreign leaders who support his candidacy and who are apparently interested in replacing our President. Why is a Presidential candidate communicating with foreign leaders outside of his capacity as a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee? To say the least, it is unseemly and suspicious.

2) When word of his remarks were made public, Kerry did not deny that he made them. If Healy is actually correct about the mistranscription, why wouldn't Kerry's camp have come out and say so? I believe it is because Kerry is in the habit (although, probably not any longer!) of making this same claim to lots of groups of Democrats, and that he did not think to "correct" a remark that he is accustomed to making, anyway.

3) When pressed by a voter at an event in Pennsylvania to name those foreign leaders with whom he has spoken, Kerry refused to, eventually telling the guy that it was none of his business. That's ridiculous! Kerry was the one who brought it up in the first place! Remember: Healy said that Kerry didn't actually say what Kerry is now trying to keep secret. What kind of sense does that make? If you didn't say it, Sen. Waffles, then say so! We'll [believe] you.

4) Kerry's camp is now trying to deflect the attention from this monstrous gaffe, but not even CNN or the New York Times is laying off. The Vice President and the Secretary of State would also like to know who these foreign leaders are. Kerry's people, instead, are criticizing Bush's press secretary for raising the issue, too, rather than sticking to his real job. Hmmm. Like Clinton didn't use his press secretaries to do damage control for him around the clock! What a laughable counter-criticism.

5) Kerry says he will not reveal any names and betray the confidence of those leaders who have spoken with him (face to face, mind you, although CNN itself has demonstrated that Kerry has not even been in the same town at the same time as any foreign leader for well over a year now). Now, why is that? Did something else happen at these meetings that would upset someone? Did some promises get made or some briefcases full of cash get delivered? Kerry says these people are allies of ours, but that's a concept that has lost some of its meaning of late. Is he saying these leaders are allies because he wishes to deflect any suspicion that he may have been in touch with leaders who are not?

Oh, there's just so much more to tell, but I'm getting too excited...excuse me.

Unwatchable
I was just reading some comments by Glenn Reynolds ("America's most influential blogger") and it really struck me (as it does every few days) just how true it is that the "mainstream media" (e.g., NYT, ABC, CBS, NBC, et al.) are becoming irrelevant because they have become so untrustworthy. How can anyone take people like Peter Jennings or Dan Rather seriously anymore when their editorial control over the content of the evening news is so obviously motivated by their own personal politics?

I've never been a particularly big Rather fan, but I used to really like Jennings because I considered ABC to have the best foreign political coverage of any of the Big Three. And Jennings suited that sort of international orientation with an objective skepticism and what I took to be a dry wit. But, now, my ABC news intake has gone from ten to one. I can't stand Jennings' chickenshit commentary and reporters like Terry Moran in his stable. They very obviously despise the President and his war policies and it would no more occur to me to get my TV coverage from those turds than from BET.

Rather has much the same problem as Jennings: an overt agenda that verges on propaganda. That sniveling fuck John Roberts that he's got working for him makes Katie Couric look like Jack Webb reading an encyclopedia entry. I don't watch those wankers, either.

In fact, I get most of my hard information from the internet, aided immensely by the hard work of bloggers and little-recognized news sources. Now, for footage and the immediate thrill of breaking news, I obviously turn to whatever cable news outlet has got the best goods. And I enjoy my commentary and partisanship from wherever: blogs, McLaughlin, Russert, the stuff on MSNBC and FOX, etc. But, there is little point in looking to where the previous generation did for reliable, straightforward news. All the best stuff is now online, which will continue to be the case, thus ever distinguishing the difference between the literate and sub-literate body politic.

Beware the Lies of March
It's nice to see that Kerry's lies are starting to catch up with him in the mainstream media and with such heavy-hitters as our Secretary of State. Everybody from CNN to Colin Powell is asking just who these foreign leaders are that Kerry claims are supporting his Presidential bid.

Kerry is a liar. But, even if he did somehow have communications with world leaders as a candidate for our highest office, he should be taken to task for such an inappropriate action. I think he should be censured on the floor of the Senate for allowing interference from foreigners in a domestic election.

There's no wiggling out of this one, Sen. Flip-Flop. You boasted of foreign political support and now you have an obligation to name names. It is our business, contrary to what you say.

Step up, Waffles. We're all ears.

Dang
Well, it looks like my tossed-off hope that the Spanish people wouldn't hold the Madrid atrocities against the Popular Party was in vain. The Socialists are set to take power there again and there's not much more to make of it but that it strengthens al-Qaeda's hand. If 3-11 is not the real reason for their displeasure, the perception is that Spain has paid the price for siding with the Great Satan, which is bad enough.

The Spanish are overwhelmingly opposed to Asnar's involvement in Iraq and even in Afghanistan. I don't know what accounts for that except the fact that much of Western Europe is deep into a period of decadent pacifism, Spain being no exception. They tolerate the Basques' violence and basically treat it as a law enforcement matter, much as Clinton did with al-Qaeda and as Kerry would do, too, were he in charge.

But, now that the Socialists are back in the saddle, what will they do to respond to what al-Qaeda did to Spain? Sit on their thumbs and continue to blame Asnar and Bush and Blair? Remember: it was al-Qaeda that committed those crimes. Are the Spanish such sorry losers that they would let such a moment pass because, somehow, they think that they, as a society, had it coming to them? Desgraciada!

Watch and learn, folks. If the Spanish don't look to kicking someone's ass over this (besides their courageous prime minister's), then all I can say is that they deserve their fate.