Mood: cheeky
As so often during the campaign season (thanks, I'm sure, to a few of my Democratic friends who put me on a list somewhere), I've once again heard from the Chairman of the DNC, the obnoxious craphound, Terry McAuliffe. What a sweetheart!
Dear Toby,Then the age of miracles is not yet over.
Your response to Washington Governor candidate Christine Gregoire's plea for help has been overwhelming. Thanks to your generosity, the recount in Washington will now go forward. With only 42 votes separating Gregoire and her Republican opponent, today we can ensure that every ballot is accurately counted. This could not have happened without you.
Your incredible grassroots support is vital to our continued fight to ensure a full and legitimate count of every single vote in this election and future elections. In addition to our strong commitment to the recount in Washington State, the Democratic Party has empowered the Ohio Democratic Party to represent us as our official observer during the recount. We will make sure that every vote in Ohio is counted.But didn't Mr. Blackwell just certify the vote yesterday? I think y'all are falling down on the job.
But we aren't stopping there.No foolin'?
After consulting with our Voting Rights Institute staff, Voting Protection Coordinators, Ohio legal team, Party activists, supporters, elected officials, and others, and after reviewing available information, the Democratic National Committee has decided to conduct a thorough investigation of key election issues arising from the conduct of the 2004 general election in Ohio.Translation: the Democratic Party wishes to further burnish its image as a group of whiney-assed losers who want to poison the public's confidence in our duly elected representatives.
This investigative study will address the legitimate questions and concerns that have been raised in Ohio and will develop factual information that will be critically important in crafting further key election reforms. This project seeks to answer such questions as:Because the Ohio state legislature is too stupid to institute early voting.
Why did so many people have to wait in line in certain Ohio precincts and not others?
Why weren't there enough machines in some counties and not others?Because the Ohio state legislature and the counties of that state are too stupid to have provided more money for the purchase of enough machines.
Why were so many Ohioans forced to cast provisional ballots?Because too many voters in Ohio are too stupid to know where they are supposed to cast their ballots. That, or they were trying to game the system by introducing a lot of confusion into the process, thereby creating a sense of widespread fraud. These sorts of problems are easily solved by the use of literacy.
We will find answers to help implement and advocate reforms in the future.But, Terry, I just told you the answers.
Let me be clear. We do not expect either the recount in Ohio or our investigation to overturn the results of this election. But both are vital to protecting every American's voting rights in future elections. And the Democratic Party will never waver when it comes to upholding this sacred trust.Federal elections deserve Federal involvement (i.e., funding and regulations) to ensure greater uniformity in the process. There needs to be national standards for these elections. If your party wants to work to that end, I'll support you. But this necrophiliac desire to gaze once again into the eyes of your dead hopes is unhealthy.
Thank you again for your incredible support.The pleasure has been all mine.
Sincerely,
Terry McAuliffe
Updated: Wednesday, 8 December 2004 4:05 AM CST