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Saturday, 27 September 2003
A Porn Star or Avery Schreiber
Mood:  cheeky
I'm growing moustaches, which is one of my favorite plural nouns. That is to ask, would one grow a moustache and mean that only one-half of his lip was covered with whiskers? Does one wear a pant or just his pants? Oh, yes. DO send in any others you might think of. A very pleasantly overcast and calm day. And I am bored.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 11:24 AM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (3) | Permalink
Friday, 26 September 2003
About That Fascist Hummer Ad
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: "Happy Jack" by The Who and for the right reasons
I really hate that new Hummer ad with the emotionally disturbed little boy working on his soap box derby vehicle to the tune of the Who's "Happy Jack." For one thing, the kid genuinely looks and acts disturbed. And the message for all of the prick-bastards who wish to own a Humvee is that you should do whatever it takes to win and to break the spirit of the law and to impose your will on the world. It's the most fascist TV commercial I've seen since Calvin Klein's Obsession ads.

And for another thing, I love "Happy Jack" and I think the use it's being put to in this ad just sucks.

Heh, heh. Furry donkeys.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 5:00 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
A Red Sox Fan or Big Schreiber
Mood:  cheeky
I'm growing moustaches, which is one of my favorite plural nouns. That is to ask, would one grow a moustache and mean that only one-half of his lip was covered with whiskers? Does one wear a pant or just his pants? Oh, yes. DO send in any others you might think of. A very pleasantly overcast and calm day. And I am bored.

Update: How did I manage to post this twice? Oh, well. So long as I'm here, I may as well relate a story that I attempted to post here a few days ago, but failed to. I went into a Usenet group the other day to drop off some chum and advertise this weblog. A few replies came back the next day. For some reason, some people only got a clear green screen. I don't know why. Maybe it's an HTML problem that I am too unsavvy to know how to address. Others said that they stopped reading my blog because they were offended at my use of the F-word (also known among grown-ups and other non-puritanical types as the word fuck).

Well, it's unfortunate that people can't deal with certain words. My own mother, although she might deny it, refuses to read this blog, either. I know, of course, the exact reason why this is, but won't say (except to note that Big Brother must be a Red Sox fan).


Posted by Toby Petzold at 12:16 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Saturday, 27 September 2003 9:38 PM CDT
Wednesday, 24 September 2003
In a Soulless Cavern, Microphoned
Mood:  chillin'
I thought the President did well yesterday at the United Nations. He did well to bring up so many of the humanitarian issues that civilized people everywhere (even the French) can address together. Which does what? It shows that we are a moral nation and a force for good ---in case that got forgotten by some of these degenerate ingrates over the past 90 years or so.

Of course, the best thing to happen for our detractors in and on Iraq is that foreign investment and ownership there will be made unusually open. But to have a chance at that new (and potentially very rich) market, countries like France and Germany are going to have to help with security issues there. Schroeder already knows that he has to start playing ball again with the United States (even if that lousy little commie-terrorist Fischer does not). And if Germany starts to change its tune, France cannot afford to further isolate itself.

See how things can change when when one is faced with a fait accompli, no?


Posted by Toby Petzold at 12:24 AM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Tuesday, 23 September 2003
Leticia van de Puta
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "Come and Get It" by Badfinger
I didn't hear her address as it was given this past weekend, but I just read the text of Texas State Senator Leticia van de Putte's (D-San Antonio) response to the President and it's pretty much everything I suspected it would be: ignorant of history, hysterical, and full of race-mongering chickenshit.

La Puta compared the fines that she and her now-oh-so-famous colleagues in the Albuquerque Eleven now face in the state senate to poll taxes! What is she talking about?! The analogy is particularly inept since none of those fucking cowards voted at all. In fact, they did the opposite of going to the polls (also known as doing their fucking jobs as representatives of their various districts) by evading Texas law enforcement and the responsibilities they promised to meet and running off to New Mexico.

La Puta also charged that the "white" Republican Party is trying to overthrow democracy in Texas and throughout the country, in part by means of essentially re-introducing Jim Crow laws. What an outrageous bag of shit you are, lady! You don't know anything about history or what segregation is. (Anyone know how old this cretin is? She can't be more than about 40. What does she know about living through Jim Crow and poll taxes? The problem is that for most of her life, the Democratic Party ruled this state and, now that that evil Republican Party is in charge, she doesn't like it. Tough.)

Enough with the egocentric and Napoleonic nonsense, you 15 minutes of shame. No one here needs you to defend democracy from those "white" Republicans. No one needs your hysterical and utterly wrong lessons in history. Your problem is that Republicans are in control of this state and wish to exercise that power by redrawing the district maps in a way that will favor them. It's not a shocking power-grab; it's a normal part of the cycle of power moving from left to right and back again. Some day, Saynatore Puta, there will be enough legal or naturalized non-whites in your district (who actually understand the importance of voting) that you can win San Antonio regardless of where the district lines cross. But, for now, the MAJORITY of Texans want a district map drawn up by the people they elected to do that job and not by some federal judge.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:04 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 22 September 2003
An Anciently Ugly Courtroom
Mood:  smelly
Sitting here watching Lawrence Tribe unsuccessfully stanch the flow of bullshit issuing from his money-maker. Basically, the ACLU wishes to void the constitution of the State of California by falsely and frivolously claiming that the gubernatorial recall election will be illegal if the voters in the biggest minority communities there aren't allowed to replace their punch-card balloting system with a more accurate technology. This could not be a more pathetic argument. This could not be a more partisan argument. The Left and its more prominent shysters are simply reliving their humiliation during the 2000 Presidential election. Almost three years have passed since that election and y'all have apparently done nothing about the balloting system in those communities. Nobody griped about the punch-card ballots when Gray Davis won the governorship in 2002. So, what the hell? You have no argument. You just want to leave the governorship in Democratic hands. You may get that yet if no one says anything else about the racist Meican nationalist organization the Lt. Governor belongs to. Oh? What's that? You're saying that a Democrat can belong to a racist organization with impunity? Man! That doesn't sound right.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 4:18 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, 20 September 2003
The United Nations as Tool of the Anti-Semite
Mood:  don't ask
Right. Keep Arafat alive and martyrific by explicitly forbidding Israel from putting him down or locking him away. What other nation gets such good and specific advice from the UN? Did they get together and pass a resolution telling Charles Taylor of Liberia to leave by such and such a date? Oh? Maybe they did. I wasn't watching. But who was the hammer inside that velvet glove? It couldn't have been Uncle Sam, could it? The UN will stand back in silence and watch hundreds of thousands of innocents be slaughtered, but when it comes to saving the life of a terrorist like Arafat, they get some balls. It's a joke.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 9:28 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Friday, 19 September 2003
Turd Kennedy
It may have just been the liquor talking, but Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy has accused the President of manufacturing out of whole cloth the casus belli for the Iraqi War. Says that it's something that was cooked up in Texas and foisted on the American people and the world.

There aren't enough hours in a day to sufficiently condemn Chappaquiddick Ted for his own very real lapses in judgement and for his defense of everything that smacks of the welfare state. He is the product of a criminal and ill-gotten family fortune that has paved over, paid off, and hushed up every mistake he's ever made. Ted Kennedy is a cheat, a cheater, a drunk, and almost certainly responsible for the negligent homicide of one of his older brother's groupie-secretaries. He has been advanced in his political career solely on the basis of his name and money. To assuage whatever feelings of guilt he might actually have from a lifetime of unearned privilege, he has made it a point to champion the cause of every wall-eyed leftist kook who ever came down the pike and to attack the policies and character of real Americans.

The war in Iraq is not a fraud, senator. You are. Not that you can see anything beyond the bottom of a pint-glass, but the sacrifices being made right now are for a higher purpose than you can imagine. The Muslim would force us and the world into a New Dark Age if he could. His hatred and ignorance and extreme violence are clear for all the world to see. If we can go where he lives and impose a new order upon him, we will come that much closer to guaranteeing that his violence will not be visited upon our own soil. It is a race against time and the defeatism of apologizers like you, Kennedy: we must introduce and encourage new trends in Iraq (and Afghanistan, too) that will undermine the old fascist ideology. We must undermine the terrorist culture wherever we find it in the Muslim world: in Palestinian-controlled Israel, in Saudi Arabia, itself, in Syria, Kashmir, or anywhere else. We are in a war between civilizations. You say the American people want answers? Well, there's their answer: we are at war to defend our way of life.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 11:16 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Barrientos to Dewhurst: "Let's Get It On!"
Mood:  party time!
Did I read that quote in yesterday's Statesman correctly? Did Gonzalo Barrientos actually challenge the Lt. Governor to a fight if he (the drunken driver) was not released from his parking ban? Well, get fucked, you derelict dickhead. You absconded from this state so as to avoid performing the duties to which you were elected. Personal privilege this. You lousy little Senate-floor rally-leaders think this little episode is going to be forgotten, but, like the bumper sticker says, payback's a bitch.

Governor Dewhurst: deduct the 57K from their pensions. Just think of how many bar tabs Gonzalo could have paid with that!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:57 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 18 September 2003
Why Don't They?
I'm sure the Israelis will catch nine kinds of hell for it, but they will, sooner or later, have to be done with Arafat. They can't pack him off to Tunisia or wherever it was he went before because that would just give him a huge and open venue to vent his garbage and be an exiled hero. They can't imprison him in Israel because any trial leading up to such an imprisonment would provide him with an official forum to rail against Israel in its own court system. The only real choice is to kill him. Target him for death by bombing his compound flat. Obviously, the whole place will go up. Arafat's al-Aqsa Brigades, as well as Hamas and Islamic Jihad and any other terrorist organization around, will use his death as cover for violence. But so will the IDF and Massad. Every debt will get paid in full. I hope Sharon and his people are planning this out thoroughly. They've got to be ready for the backlash. But, once it comes, the situation there will be advanced immeasurably.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 6:00 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
All I'm Saying
Look, all I'm saying is don't be surprised if Hillary announces her candidacy for the Presidency before Thanksgiving (that's the absolute deadline for this theory-fear). She is definitely circling the boat and eyeing the danglers. She's watching the reaction to her spouse out in California and it's telling her that the Clinton name still sells it. The liberal base would absolutely jizz over her if she signed on. She makes Wesley Clark her veep and they capitalize on the anti-Bush hatred consuming the Democratic Party. Bustamante takes the governorship of California and the Left is energized. They will congratulate themselves for beating back the Republican Party's efforts at undermining democracy in Multicultural America. They and the media will continue to harp on every single setback we suffer in Iraq and, with the economy improving too slowly and fitfully to be appreciated, Bush is an easy target to be overthrown.

If Hillary doesn't go now, the sheen will start to come off her name and the economic cycle will have turned in the GOP's favor by 2008. By 2012, she will be too old. Watch out. The shock of her about-face would make Schwarzenegger's announcement on Leno look like a clumsy access channel harrangue.

Don't doubt this stuff, man. The Democrats want to avenge 2000 more than the average conservative might want to believe. The very prospect of a Hillary Administration would be like red meat and Viagra sandwiches for the entire electorate. It would be the biggest percentage voter turnout since 1912.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 7:47 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 17 September 2003
Clear on That
President Bush just said that he does not believe that Saddam had any direct role in the events of 11 September 2001. For some reason, a large percentage of the American people have had it in their heads that Saddam did have something to do with it. I don't know why, either. Of course, that served the Administration's purposes just fine, but it's good now that the President has dismissed the idea. He did, however, concur with the Vice President that Saddam had ties to al-Qaeda, such as the guy who ordered the murder of that American diplomat in Amman, I think it was. Saddam also had ties with that bunch of shit up in northern Iraq, Ansr al-Islam or however that group spells its name. They're a bunch of murderers with both al-Qaeda and Iranian ties. And all of them need to be buried in glass.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 4:11 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Compton Caucasian
Had a look at the wad of phlegm that murdered the Williams Sisters' eldest sister there in Compton. Looks like a big white guy, which is not what I expected. Some sort of equal opportunity gang banger shooting, I guess. It's a shame. Doesn't change my view of South Central, though.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:56 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 16 September 2003
The Times and the Man
Something else about Bill Clinton: he was President during a time when the internet and high tech took off in an unprecedented trajectory. The mania of overspeculation in the stock market and the boom in ready capital was very similar to that of the 1920s, another period of great prosperity that eventually went bust, just as we, to a much more limited degree, have experienced in our own time.

Americans then, too, had a charming but morally weak president on their hands in the person of Warren G. Harding. His own father thanked God his son hadn't been born a girl for fear that "she" would have been "in the family way" early and often. Only premature death rescued Harding from personal disgrace. His successor, Calvin Coolidge, was a colorless and morose CEO of the United States, Inc. "The business of America is business," he said, and they all rode high on credit and played the margins. High tech had everyone's attention in those days, too: radio, the talkies, big cars, and Kodak cameras. But the economy that made them eventually collapsed as it rarely had before. The Great Depression had begun.

Now, who did this fall on? Who was blamed for the disaster that seized America? A very decent and self-made man; an extremely bright engineer whose interest in public service made him one of our country's most beloved representatives in Europe ---where he was credited with keeping that war-ravaged continent from starvation. Today, of course, people associate Herbert Hoover's name with black-hearted Republican callousness, but there was nothing he could have done to stop the awful wheel of economics from rolling over everyone. The Federal Government simply wasn't equipped to rescue the working man from destitution; those mechanisms hadn't been instituted yet. And, frankly, some movements are beyond our control ---and we deserve neither blame nor credit when they go right or wrong.

So, just as Hoover didn't cause the Great Depression, Clinton was not the moving force behind the American economic boom of the last half of the 1990s. If the times hadn't been as good during his watch, more people than might be realized now would have agreed that Clinton's poor character was deserving of punishment. But folks were fat and happy and it seemed like bad taste and low style to fault such a powerful man for his pecadilloes. And, so, the feminists turned their heads and bit their tongues and abided in him what they wouldn't have in a Republican president. That's a fact in your Library of Congress, jackson. The double-standard is out and blowing in the wind.

Anyway, what is happening now is that people blame Bush for the hard economic times, but that is plainly wrong. The seeds of this economy's downfall were sewn well before the President entered the White House. Maybe people want to forget that and charge Bush with all sorts of sins, but that is also wrong. Bush is showing us that the times DO make the man and that anyone who strives to overcome his own faults deserves our praise, not our censure. What a tremendous burden the President bears these days! He is laying a foundation for peace in the Middle East and people attack him for everything they can think of. The times make the man. These people are just angry that Clinton can't rise to the occasion as Bush has.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 1:32 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
ABSOLUTELY SICK AND TIRED OF ROADRUNNER'S E-MAIL SERVICE
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: "Eat My Filth" by the Tariq Aziz
I don't mean to be too nasty here, but I can't conceive of a shittier product than Time Warner's RoadRunner e-mail service. There is no aspect of it that is not stunningly incompetent. The only possible excuse for such a travesty is that Time Warner does not actually want to sponsor an e-mail service for its RoadRunner clients and, so, has deliberately chosen to offer up this crap in hopes that people will not use it and, thereby, lighten their server load. Is that paranoid? Nope. I'll bet it's the truth.

With the RoadRunner e-mail service, you cannot log in with a remembered user name or password; you have to acknowledge that you are entering a secured site; you cannot freely scroll down your opened and unopened e-mails; you cannot archive e-mails to your own local drive; the compose function has a time-zone attached which will time you out inside of a matter of minutes; there's no folders for saving anything; the interface is ugly; exiting has to be confirmed; messages get purged inside of two months, etc. It's a fucking joke.

Hotmail is the only decent e-mail service. I'm sure of that.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 12:15 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Cheaters
Mood:  irritated
What's all this then? The Ninth Circuit Court has postponed the gubernatorial recall vote in California because of the concerns over punch-card ballotting. Ha, ha. What a joke. Who said liberals don't have a sense of humor? This is their way of avenging the 2000 Presidential election and showing the Supremes that they know just how to put precedent to work.

One would think that punch-card ballots were an evil creation of white supremacists to keep Jasper and Pedro down, but that's not how it is. Yeah, it's an old technology and not very reliable when you get right down to it, but it's not like San Diego and L.A. have ever had much trouble putting Democrats in office, so why the worry now? Is it because the commie craphounds on the Ninth Circuit are anti-Republican kingmakers who want to put off the recall vote to coincide with the Presidential primary next spring when the Democratic base will be energized against a non-competitive GOP primary? Hmm. May be!

The Supreme Court decisions from the debacle in Florida are coming back to haunt the Republicans. So be it. There's nothing to keep Gray Davis from resigning his seat on the eve of election night and making Bustamante governor, anyway, is there? They have all sorts of rabbits to pull out, regardless.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:35 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
A Sorry Thing
Mood:  sad
I was sorry to hear that the Williams' Sisters' eldest sister was murdered in Compton the other day. I used to live next door to Compton in Gardena, which is literally across Vermont Avenue or whatever that street was there in South Central L.A. It makes no sense that two of the finest and richest tennis players of their generation should have had a sister living in those conditions. Gang warfare in that part of L.A. is truly out of control, which is why Venus and Serena live off in Beverly Hills or wherever it is. I'm sure they probably tried to convince their sister to get out of there lots of times, but I hear she was proud and didn't want to accept charity from them. Well, to hell with that. There are too many young black kids living like animals in South Central. I met my share of them and a few of them truly struck me as sociopaths. They worship money but not work; thus, they will find God on the easiest terms possible: moving drugs and women, shaking people down, and getting their props by being known for their violence. They listen to the angriest and most vile garbage imaginable and do so constantly and very loudly. It's all about the money and the cars and the respect, but they don't know how to earn it except by taking it through murder and mischief. It's very sad. Too bad the politicians out there don't have a clue.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:20 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Undignified C-Words
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "Kill 'Em All" by Metallica (the whole album, baby, and REAL loud)
Those strutting little peacocks and hens finally clucked and moseyed their way back into the Texas Senate chamber today and proceded to make an undignified mess of the whole thing. What a bunch of petty turds. The thing I hate most is that, for years to come, their little stunt will receive its commemorations from the Hightower-Richards crowd as something special and brave and defiant. People are never more pathetic than when they manufacture a cause to nostalge over. But these worthless fucks enrage me ---and their futile little interstate tantrum served no purpose whatsoever. Oh, but all hail the conquering heroes when they re-enter the Senate chamber and lead a huge rally of ugly and unwashed South Texans from the strangers' gallery! Hola, amigos! Shut your asses up! This is the Senate chamber of the Texas State Legislature, not the parking lot at the Tejano Ranch. Have some respect for the people and places where democracy lives.

Blustering little shills. Hey, Gonzalo! Aren't you MY senator, too? Where the fuck you been, compadre? Hiding from your responsibilities? The taxpayers have to pay for your sweet pension and health care until the day you kick, prick, so have some backbone and show up for work, you lousy coward. I'm not impressed by your stunt. Not at all. What did it accomplish? You want to keep the people from exercising their rights to be represented in the U.S. Congress by preserving the status quo? That ain't gonna work. I want to see a GOP-dominated U.S. House delegation from Texas. We had it YOUR way for decades; how about a little consideration, you drunk-driving craphound?

Down with the Albuquerque Eleven! Up with roosters coming home to roost!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:06 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
One Hell of a Game
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "We Are the Champions" by Queen
Did y'all see them Cowboys on Monday Night Football? Wheeee! That was one hell of a game, mister! Had everything but a car chase and a love scene in it. Whew! I know Parcells was happy to go home and beat up on those guys a little, especially that Shockey kid. Better luck next time, chumps. Heh, heh. I haven't been this happy about a Cowboys game in a coon's age. Wheeee!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 2:49 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 15 September 2003
Clinton Exits Remission, Goes to Hollywood
Mood:  irritated
Oh, man. Bill Clinton's back out on the hustings, this time as a shill for Gray Davis, the future former governor of California. Clinton is one of that handful of public personalities who can instantaneously evoke an overwhelming nausea in me. He is such a fucking egocentric liar. GO AWAY, you disgraceful liar. The very sound of his voice makes me ill.

Heh, heh. Lookit the way the blacks just gush all over the First Black President in their churches. Why are they so crazy for him? Did he do something for them I don't know about? He sold them out to save his own job and completely wrecked the liberal, welfare statist lobby in the Democratic Party. Yes, indeed, the black middle class grew by leaps and bounds in the 1990s, but it would have done that whether Clinton had been at the helm or not. That's just one reason why these nostalging turds on the Left make me mad: oh, yes, things were so much better under Clinton. As though he were responsible for the economy of the mid to late 90s! It wasn't him, folks. It was a fiscally conservative and responsible Congress, led for the most part by the GOP. He just went along for the ride. That is all.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 2:28 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink

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