Ninety-nine to One Here's a helpful essay in this morning's National Review Online for those who think that the Patriot Act is some sort of diabolical scheme to violate Americans' civil liberties.
Remember: with the exception of the kooky Dennis Kucinich, every one of the major candidates for the Dumbocrat's presidential nomination voted for the Act. So, why are these hypocrites in full pander mode now? Because, just as they did with the issue of the war, they need to appeal to their liberal base. Sucking up to the patchouli-wearers (and maybe even some militia men) in the civil liberties crowd helps them all feel better and morally superior to J. Edgar Ashcroft-Goebbels.
But the claim that the Patriot Act is destroying our rights of privacy is the purest sort of horseshit. So, quit fronting, homeboy. No examples = no case.
A Reader Writes
The following is an exchange between me and a fellow Austinite who goes by the name of Sluggo. My remarks are in italics:
My balls slap the chin of any fool who backs this piece of used food.
Used food being shit, right? Nice.
The patriot act is just an excuse to make government more intrusive. Simply enforcing the existing rules would have kept these dikkos from being in this country.
I don't know about that. Didn't all 19 of the towelheads who attacked us on 11 September come here by legal means? "Existing rules" didn't keep anything out.
Vast armies of agents monitoring the american people will not prevent terrorism.
If politically correct (as opposed to reasonable) civil libertarians would allow racial and background profiling, we could narrow our focus almost one hundred percent. We know who's got it in for us; it's no mystery. But we have to go through the pretense of frisking little old ladies from Omaha in our airports instead of grilling these Mohammedan nut-jobs just to satisfy the liberals.
Deeply embedded networks of secret intelligence sources and agressive extraction of information will.
Sounds good to me, but how is that consistent with your preceding statement?
These efforts should take place within the framework of a true intelligence network. Paying some mouth breather with a GED 35000.00 a year to go through your fukking bags at the airport will not keep you safe.
Not a bad idea. Them and the airports. But who knew box cutters would be so harmful?
As for the rest of it. Anyone who still thinks bush is a "conservative" is a MORON.
What else would you call him? (Besides used food, of course.)
It is not conservative to throw open the the gates to every Tomas,Ricardo, and Enrique just so you and your crew can get some cheap brown labor without having to duck la migra.
I disagree. That is the definition of conservative, especially among the native working class: fat cats putting personal profits before the best interests of the common man and our culture. Reagan did the same thing in 1986. It's irresponsible.
It isn't the act of a conservative to spend the country into a deficit and cut taxes, unless you want to make american money worthless.
Deficit-spending is the basis of Keynesian economics. Remember FDR and Reagan?
Conservatives don't go meddling in other peoples affairs across the globe.
Nonsense, Sluggo. A century ago, McKinley and TR were the biggest imperialists around (e.g., the Spanish-American War, the Panama Canal, etc.). Those guys were Republicans. And let's not forget, as Southerners, that McKinley's old commander-in-chief waged war against the South. Republicans certainly do have a history of "meddling."
That used to be a job for the liberals.
That's true. From Wilson on down.
But there he is, the yankee jefecito playing the Texan and being a little jack-ass.
Focus Now
The President's State of the Union address last night was just fine, but not especially impressive.
My favorite moment was when he stared down the civil rights heroes on the Democratic side of the aisle when they applauded a set-up statement he made about certain parts of the Patriot Act expiring next year. They self-righteously seized that little moment, but what do you expect? Is there any stronger an ideological indicator than one's position on that? These two-bit craphounds think they've sniffed out a new set of Nuremberg Laws for which they will be heralded down through the ages, but what they are actually doing is interfering with our police and intelligence agencies' ability to identify and keep tabs on Mohammedan assholes who wish to destroy our civilization. Got that? You won't have any civil rights to enjoy when some camel-fucker has come and killed you because you couldn't (or, weren't allowed to) tell him apart from some Qatari engineering student.
But, for my money, the most telling moment of the President's address was during his remarks on his immigration proposals. You could have heard the proverbial cricket chirping at a few turns there. That is to note, there are going to HAVE to be some major changes in his plan before it gets anywhere. Those silences weren't just Democrats sitting on their hands, you know.
But, look at it this way, Mr. President: you can save your re-election committee some money on focus groups. I think the reaction you got last night on what you aren't calling an amnesty program should tell you what you need to know.
Circling the Bowl Mood: happy
My favorite aspect of Dean's irredeemable failure last night is that it shows what losers his supporters are. Y'know: Carter, Gore, Harkin, et al. I think it's especially sweet that Gore's judgement has once again been shown to suck. What a craven, disloyal liar he is for having stuck a knife in the back of his own running mate of just three years ago! The man who waited until Gore made his own plans known before making his own bid. I hope Joe Lieberman is having a good, long laugh at those wankers tonight.
Meltin' Badly Mood: loud
Man! Did you see Howard Dean at his [victory rally] last night? The guy was positively feral! It was almost as if he wanted to justify every misgiving anyone has ever had about his cucumbricality (my newest reification of the idea of coolness). I thought he might leap into the crowd and start biting nubiles on their necks!
It may be, though, that what we witnessed was a man who had just come to realize that his highest ambitions are now dead. Dean has no chance at anything now. The wad is shot. And you can thank Saddam for that.
My best interpretation of Dean's failure is that it points up the essential lack of nerve of the Democratic Party. They were absolutely queer about their little rolled-up sleeved, tough-talking Bush-basher, but, when it came right down to it, they lost their water and voted for electability. And let's be sure we understand that: Kerry and Edwards know what plays in Peoria. Like most of the mainstream, both voted for the war resolutions (although not the $87 billion bill, much of which is essential to rebuilding Iraq's infrastructure, which will also benefit American companies). The only reason either of them are now "anti-war" in whatever sense they may be is because it is a point of difference with the President. A manufactured point, but one nonetheless. But the most important thing is that they're not out there acting like surly nut-jobs; they're acting presidential. Dean doesn't "do" presidential and the hard-core types knew it, too.
So, what happens now? Clark and Kerry bloody each other up a little bit, Edwards keeps on playing nice so that Kerry will offer him the Vice Presidential spot, and Bush waits for them to push him harder on Osama and our borders and the Saudis and whatever else. Which is to say, if you are an enemy of the United States, 2004 is going to be the worst year of your life.
Posted by Toby Petzold
at 2:42 AM CST
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Updated: Tuesday, 20 January 2004 6:03 AM CST
Monday, 19 January 2004
What Are We Looking at Here? Mood: surprised
Hmmm. It's 2000 CST and Kerry's kicking ass. Especially Dean's ass. What are we looking at here? An eventual Kerry-Edwards ticket? It's a real possibility. But there's always General Cluck to bollocks things up in New Hampshire.
It's an electability thang, see. These Dumbs finally got the message that Dean is temperamentally unsuited to be President of the United States.
A Point I'll Concede
This past weekend on Meet the Press, Dick Gephardt (soon to be known as a "miserable failure") made the point that Bush hasn't done nearly enough to make the Saudis answer for their collusions and support of terrorism. And the anti-American jar of rancid pus Michael Moore basically raised this same issue on Charlie Rose's show, although with a far more paranoiac view of things, which is his stock in trade.
The thing is that I agree absolutely with those who question our relationship with the Saudis. They have been given the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card ever and it's difficult to justify.
At bottom, it's clear why we treat Saudi Arabia with kid gloves: it's the oil. They control a lot of it and, besides that, they wield a huge influence throughout the region because they are the home to the holiest sites of Islam. That is their protection, ultimately. To raise a hand against Saudi Arabia would be to invite the wrath of Islam everywhere. After all, the mere presence of American troops there (especially de white womens) provided much of Osama bin Laden's ostensible justification for his murderous designs against us. Imagine us striking against them militarily.
Despite the fact of Saudi Arabia's exceptionalism in America's geopolitical calculus, they must not be allowed to continue to undermine us as they do. No more of their funding of madrassas and terrorist camps. No more of this irresponsible exporting and deporting of troublemakers and criminals.
And no more of our own government looking the other way when all the trails of evidence of the violence against us lead back to Riyadh.
Like Chris Rock says, ain't nobody above an ass-whuppin'.
To Counter a Charge of Mental Illness, I Cleverly Employ a Child's Taunt and Some Android Noises Mood: suave
Some guy on a Usenet group took a rather fragrant and self-righteous piece of prose from this site and posted it in the former location with a claim that I am mentally ill.
A Tip for Gen. Clark
Say, Wesley, if you're going to send Jamie Rubin out to deliver five-minute revisions of each of your many, many dumbassed remarks, you could at least supply him with some fishnet stockings and a purseful of lipstick.
Posted by Toby Petzold
at 11:20 PM CST
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Updated: Sunday, 18 January 2004 1:57 PM CST
XL Mood: happy
Today is my brother Jimmy's 40th birthday, a milestone I can hardly believe. He is a good and loyal man who has helped me in more times of need than I can recall. Jim, in fact, has always been there for all of his family. And God help you if you are on his shit list.
I love you, Jim. Your success means more to me than anyone else's I know.
Michael Powell Is a Dope Mood: down Now Playing: Some George Carlin
Michael Powell, the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, is wanting to stamp out obscenities on our radios and televisions by increasing the fines for such breaches of decorum by something like a thousand percent. Powell figures that he can financially penalize the companies that own these stations and channels into stopping the filth.
But let's get serious, please. It's not the F-word or any other so-called verbal "obscenity" that is coarsening this culture; rather, it is the unending parade of immoral bullshit that passes for broadcast entertainment and news which is really to blame. And, of course, nobody can stop that. Reality TV, soap operas, hip-hop videos, Peter Jennings, et al: These are the true culprits.
Here's my own personal canary in the coalmine moment: Maybe two years ago, I happened to be channel-surfing one evening (rarity of rarities!) when I came across NBC's Fear Factor, which is the content equivalent of a short subject at a snuff-film film house. If I remember correctly, there was a guy and girl standing there before a large glass container of brackish liquid and what appeared to be some sort of sausages floating about therein.
But, no, my friend: they weren't sausages ---they were lengths of pig rectums! I mean, Jesus! And what has to happen now for the girl to have a shot at the cash? She's gotta eat as many as she can. Thankfully, the guy advised her on the best method, which is to manipulate the uncooked ass-hose so as to excrete as much as possible of the liquid in which it had been floating before sucking it down.
I mean: THIS WAS ON THE NATIONAL FUCKING BROADCAST COMPANY!!! In prime time (which makes it so much worse)!
As I recall, Michael, they didn't cuss. They just ate pig rectums for money. On TV. My TV, jackson!
Fix that shit before you come looking to extort money from people trying to legitimately express themselves, you meddling nepotist.
More Fodder for My Contempt Mood: incredulous
And how 'bout this? How about a 22 year-old Muslim girl with two kids who says that, as much as she loves them, her desire to waste Zionists is even greater? And so, a couple days ago, she goes and explodes a bomb attached to her body and kills four Israeli soldiers and injures some others.
And the Pope has the balls to call America a culture of death? How about the Palestinians, Papa? You've got young mothers killing themselves and others for admission to paradise? Murderers who have deluded themselves into believing that they are justified in killing other human beings because they are Jews? What the fuck is going on here?
Oh, and in a humorous sidelight, the asshole from Hamas that was in charge of preparing this stupid little girl for her meeting with Allah reportedly admitted that he was uncomfortable with training a woman ---not because he was sending this young, brainwashed veil-head to commit murder, but because of the impropriety of a woman training under a bunch of men!!! Huh?! You couldn't write this fucking nonsense if you tried.
And these are the kind of people who deserve a sovereign state of their own? Am I to understand that Leftist assholes are all queer for Palestinian statehood but can't imagine how the Dumbass Cowboy from Crawford holds out hope for democracy in Iraq?
Don't try to reason with these people. Just step on them before they spawn some more of their own.
State of the Union Mood: don't ask Now Playing: "Kill 'Em All" by Metallica (the whole thing and real loud)
Yesterday, the President of the United States made a quiet, solemn visit to the tomb of Martin Luther King, Jr. to lay a wreath and say a prayer. It is altogether fitting that our nation's leader should have done this out of respect for the most important figure in 20th Century America's civil rights movement, especially on what would have been Dr. King's 75th birthday.
Across the street, hundreds of worthless assholes were jeering and heckling the President. The disrespect was pathological in its depravity and every one of those filthy animals should be ashamed of themselves.
Today, Michael Jackson, a disgusting plastic scarecrow who has been charged with multiple counts of child molestation was the happy object of the adulation of thousands of supporters outside the courthouse where he was arraigned for his crimes. It was a moment of the most odious sort of idol worship imaginable. And an outrageous contrast with the dignity and respect demonstrated by our President.
NEVER doubt WHY I hate the great majority of human beings. NEVER deny the righteousness of my judgement when I declare that most people are not the equals of the dirt in the tread of my soles. In the war of all against all, I have reckoned rightly and stand firmly on the side of moral man.
Glasgow off the Hook Mood: a-ok
Just heard that the negligent homicide charge against Austin police officer Scott Glasgow has been dropped. Why was it brought in the first place? To placate Nelson Linder and Sterling Lands and the rest of East Austin? (East Austin is code for the negro community.) Probably. But it was, as Sipowicz might say, a clean shoot.
Glasgow had tried to apprehend a young punk (unfortunately named Jessie Owens) who was behind the wheel of a stolen car and high on crack or whatever when the guy decided to take off and possibly drag Glasgow to death. But Glasgow unloaded his piece into Owens and killed him, probably saving his own life.
Yeah, Glasgow screwed up on the stop and has had multiple policy violations and accidents, but you don't charge a cop with negligent homicide when he's trying to nab a piece of shit like Owens. The guy was in a stolen car, high on drugs, had a long list of violent felonies, and was trying to use that car to kill a cop. Fuck him.
And now it's time for Glasgow to either undergo intensive retraining or find another job.
Rain Mood: happy
It's finally raining here in Austin! I love the very sound and sight and smell of it. But, here in a half-hour or so, the local news broadcasts will be on. I swear on a stack I'll rip into any of those whiners who even comes close to bitching about our good fortune! Got that, Rutherford?!
A Funny Development Mood: silly Now Playing: "I Don't Know" by Naked Raygun
I just read that Al Gore is going to deliver a speech in New York City later today on the threat of global warming. The only interesting thing about this is that today is supposed to be the coldest day in that city in a decade.
Gore's advisers are advising him to sit this one out, but he is, reportedly, determined to make his case.
I'm sure there will be no end to the fun conservatives will have over this emblematic moment, which is fine since Gore is a commie flake.
But, in the grand scheme of things, I find conservatives' skepticism about global warming and ozone depletion and air quality, in general, to be incredibly irresponsible. Until our colonization of the Solar System begins (and, surely, even after), we have no choice but to live here on Earth and possibly suffer the consequences of our neglect of our atmosphere (which, in the grander scheme of things, is a mighty thin skin that keeps us alive and protected against the radiation of outer space). It is stupid to deny that climatic changes and measurable ozone depletion and the abundant evidence of global pollution are the wild claims of the Greens and the Left.
The only responsible choice is to live and act as though global warming were a fact because Mother Earth has no reset button. We can't afford to be wrong about these issues and, therefore, it is essential that we err (if that's what it is) on the side of caution.
If Theodore Roosevelt were here today, he'd be slapping around these particular punks on the Right until they wised up.
incredulous
happy
loud
surprised
suave
down
don't ask
a-ok
silly