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Hammorabi
Saturday, 20 September 2003
The United Nations as Tool of the Anti-Semite
Mood:  don't ask
Right. Keep Arafat alive and martyrific by explicitly forbidding Israel from putting him down or locking him away. What other nation gets such good and specific advice from the UN? Did they get together and pass a resolution telling Charles Taylor of Liberia to leave by such and such a date? Oh? Maybe they did. I wasn't watching. But who was the hammer inside that velvet glove? It couldn't have been Uncle Sam, could it? The UN will stand back in silence and watch hundreds of thousands of innocents be slaughtered, but when it comes to saving the life of a terrorist like Arafat, they get some balls. It's a joke.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 9:28 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Friday, 19 September 2003
Turd Kennedy
It may have just been the liquor talking, but Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy has accused the President of manufacturing out of whole cloth the casus belli for the Iraqi War. Says that it's something that was cooked up in Texas and foisted on the American people and the world.

There aren't enough hours in a day to sufficiently condemn Chappaquiddick Ted for his own very real lapses in judgement and for his defense of everything that smacks of the welfare state. He is the product of a criminal and ill-gotten family fortune that has paved over, paid off, and hushed up every mistake he's ever made. Ted Kennedy is a cheat, a cheater, a drunk, and almost certainly responsible for the negligent homicide of one of his older brother's groupie-secretaries. He has been advanced in his political career solely on the basis of his name and money. To assuage whatever feelings of guilt he might actually have from a lifetime of unearned privilege, he has made it a point to champion the cause of every wall-eyed leftist kook who ever came down the pike and to attack the policies and character of real Americans.

The war in Iraq is not a fraud, senator. You are. Not that you can see anything beyond the bottom of a pint-glass, but the sacrifices being made right now are for a higher purpose than you can imagine. The Muslim would force us and the world into a New Dark Age if he could. His hatred and ignorance and extreme violence are clear for all the world to see. If we can go where he lives and impose a new order upon him, we will come that much closer to guaranteeing that his violence will not be visited upon our own soil. It is a race against time and the defeatism of apologizers like you, Kennedy: we must introduce and encourage new trends in Iraq (and Afghanistan, too) that will undermine the old fascist ideology. We must undermine the terrorist culture wherever we find it in the Muslim world: in Palestinian-controlled Israel, in Saudi Arabia, itself, in Syria, Kashmir, or anywhere else. We are in a war between civilizations. You say the American people want answers? Well, there's their answer: we are at war to defend our way of life.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 11:16 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Barrientos to Dewhurst: "Let's Get It On!"
Mood:  party time!
Did I read that quote in yesterday's Statesman correctly? Did Gonzalo Barrientos actually challenge the Lt. Governor to a fight if he (the drunken driver) was not released from his parking ban? Well, get fucked, you derelict dickhead. You absconded from this state so as to avoid performing the duties to which you were elected. Personal privilege this. You lousy little Senate-floor rally-leaders think this little episode is going to be forgotten, but, like the bumper sticker says, payback's a bitch.

Governor Dewhurst: deduct the 57K from their pensions. Just think of how many bar tabs Gonzalo could have paid with that!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:57 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 18 September 2003
Why Don't They?
I'm sure the Israelis will catch nine kinds of hell for it, but they will, sooner or later, have to be done with Arafat. They can't pack him off to Tunisia or wherever it was he went before because that would just give him a huge and open venue to vent his garbage and be an exiled hero. They can't imprison him in Israel because any trial leading up to such an imprisonment would provide him with an official forum to rail against Israel in its own court system. The only real choice is to kill him. Target him for death by bombing his compound flat. Obviously, the whole place will go up. Arafat's al-Aqsa Brigades, as well as Hamas and Islamic Jihad and any other terrorist organization around, will use his death as cover for violence. But so will the IDF and Massad. Every debt will get paid in full. I hope Sharon and his people are planning this out thoroughly. They've got to be ready for the backlash. But, once it comes, the situation there will be advanced immeasurably.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 6:00 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
All I'm Saying
Look, all I'm saying is don't be surprised if Hillary announces her candidacy for the Presidency before Thanksgiving (that's the absolute deadline for this theory-fear). She is definitely circling the boat and eyeing the danglers. She's watching the reaction to her spouse out in California and it's telling her that the Clinton name still sells it. The liberal base would absolutely jizz over her if she signed on. She makes Wesley Clark her veep and they capitalize on the anti-Bush hatred consuming the Democratic Party. Bustamante takes the governorship of California and the Left is energized. They will congratulate themselves for beating back the Republican Party's efforts at undermining democracy in Multicultural America. They and the media will continue to harp on every single setback we suffer in Iraq and, with the economy improving too slowly and fitfully to be appreciated, Bush is an easy target to be overthrown.

If Hillary doesn't go now, the sheen will start to come off her name and the economic cycle will have turned in the GOP's favor by 2008. By 2012, she will be too old. Watch out. The shock of her about-face would make Schwarzenegger's announcement on Leno look like a clumsy access channel harrangue.

Don't doubt this stuff, man. The Democrats want to avenge 2000 more than the average conservative might want to believe. The very prospect of a Hillary Administration would be like red meat and Viagra sandwiches for the entire electorate. It would be the biggest percentage voter turnout since 1912.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 7:47 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 17 September 2003
Clear on That
President Bush just said that he does not believe that Saddam had any direct role in the events of 11 September 2001. For some reason, a large percentage of the American people have had it in their heads that Saddam did have something to do with it. I don't know why, either. Of course, that served the Administration's purposes just fine, but it's good now that the President has dismissed the idea. He did, however, concur with the Vice President that Saddam had ties to al-Qaeda, such as the guy who ordered the murder of that American diplomat in Amman, I think it was. Saddam also had ties with that bunch of shit up in northern Iraq, Ansr al-Islam or however that group spells its name. They're a bunch of murderers with both al-Qaeda and Iranian ties. And all of them need to be buried in glass.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 4:11 PM CDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Compton Caucasian
Had a look at the wad of phlegm that murdered the Williams Sisters' eldest sister there in Compton. Looks like a big white guy, which is not what I expected. Some sort of equal opportunity gang banger shooting, I guess. It's a shame. Doesn't change my view of South Central, though.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:56 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 16 September 2003
The Times and the Man
Something else about Bill Clinton: he was President during a time when the internet and high tech took off in an unprecedented trajectory. The mania of overspeculation in the stock market and the boom in ready capital was very similar to that of the 1920s, another period of great prosperity that eventually went bust, just as we, to a much more limited degree, have experienced in our own time.

Americans then, too, had a charming but morally weak president on their hands in the person of Warren G. Harding. His own father thanked God his son hadn't been born a girl for fear that "she" would have been "in the family way" early and often. Only premature death rescued Harding from personal disgrace. His successor, Calvin Coolidge, was a colorless and morose CEO of the United States, Inc. "The business of America is business," he said, and they all rode high on credit and played the margins. High tech had everyone's attention in those days, too: radio, the talkies, big cars, and Kodak cameras. But the economy that made them eventually collapsed as it rarely had before. The Great Depression had begun.

Now, who did this fall on? Who was blamed for the disaster that seized America? A very decent and self-made man; an extremely bright engineer whose interest in public service made him one of our country's most beloved representatives in Europe ---where he was credited with keeping that war-ravaged continent from starvation. Today, of course, people associate Herbert Hoover's name with black-hearted Republican callousness, but there was nothing he could have done to stop the awful wheel of economics from rolling over everyone. The Federal Government simply wasn't equipped to rescue the working man from destitution; those mechanisms hadn't been instituted yet. And, frankly, some movements are beyond our control ---and we deserve neither blame nor credit when they go right or wrong.

So, just as Hoover didn't cause the Great Depression, Clinton was not the moving force behind the American economic boom of the last half of the 1990s. If the times hadn't been as good during his watch, more people than might be realized now would have agreed that Clinton's poor character was deserving of punishment. But folks were fat and happy and it seemed like bad taste and low style to fault such a powerful man for his pecadilloes. And, so, the feminists turned their heads and bit their tongues and abided in him what they wouldn't have in a Republican president. That's a fact in your Library of Congress, jackson. The double-standard is out and blowing in the wind.

Anyway, what is happening now is that people blame Bush for the hard economic times, but that is plainly wrong. The seeds of this economy's downfall were sewn well before the President entered the White House. Maybe people want to forget that and charge Bush with all sorts of sins, but that is also wrong. Bush is showing us that the times DO make the man and that anyone who strives to overcome his own faults deserves our praise, not our censure. What a tremendous burden the President bears these days! He is laying a foundation for peace in the Middle East and people attack him for everything they can think of. The times make the man. These people are just angry that Clinton can't rise to the occasion as Bush has.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 1:32 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
ABSOLUTELY SICK AND TIRED OF ROADRUNNER'S E-MAIL SERVICE
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: "Eat My Filth" by the Tariq Aziz
I don't mean to be too nasty here, but I can't conceive of a shittier product than Time Warner's RoadRunner e-mail service. There is no aspect of it that is not stunningly incompetent. The only possible excuse for such a travesty is that Time Warner does not actually want to sponsor an e-mail service for its RoadRunner clients and, so, has deliberately chosen to offer up this crap in hopes that people will not use it and, thereby, lighten their server load. Is that paranoid? Nope. I'll bet it's the truth.

With the RoadRunner e-mail service, you cannot log in with a remembered user name or password; you have to acknowledge that you are entering a secured site; you cannot freely scroll down your opened and unopened e-mails; you cannot archive e-mails to your own local drive; the compose function has a time-zone attached which will time you out inside of a matter of minutes; there's no folders for saving anything; the interface is ugly; exiting has to be confirmed; messages get purged inside of two months, etc. It's a fucking joke.

Hotmail is the only decent e-mail service. I'm sure of that.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 12:15 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Cheaters
Mood:  irritated
What's all this then? The Ninth Circuit Court has postponed the gubernatorial recall vote in California because of the concerns over punch-card ballotting. Ha, ha. What a joke. Who said liberals don't have a sense of humor? This is their way of avenging the 2000 Presidential election and showing the Supremes that they know just how to put precedent to work.

One would think that punch-card ballots were an evil creation of white supremacists to keep Jasper and Pedro down, but that's not how it is. Yeah, it's an old technology and not very reliable when you get right down to it, but it's not like San Diego and L.A. have ever had much trouble putting Democrats in office, so why the worry now? Is it because the commie craphounds on the Ninth Circuit are anti-Republican kingmakers who want to put off the recall vote to coincide with the Presidential primary next spring when the Democratic base will be energized against a non-competitive GOP primary? Hmm. May be!

The Supreme Court decisions from the debacle in Florida are coming back to haunt the Republicans. So be it. There's nothing to keep Gray Davis from resigning his seat on the eve of election night and making Bustamante governor, anyway, is there? They have all sorts of rabbits to pull out, regardless.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:35 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
A Sorry Thing
Mood:  sad
I was sorry to hear that the Williams' Sisters' eldest sister was murdered in Compton the other day. I used to live next door to Compton in Gardena, which is literally across Vermont Avenue or whatever that street was there in South Central L.A. It makes no sense that two of the finest and richest tennis players of their generation should have had a sister living in those conditions. Gang warfare in that part of L.A. is truly out of control, which is why Venus and Serena live off in Beverly Hills or wherever it is. I'm sure they probably tried to convince their sister to get out of there lots of times, but I hear she was proud and didn't want to accept charity from them. Well, to hell with that. There are too many young black kids living like animals in South Central. I met my share of them and a few of them truly struck me as sociopaths. They worship money but not work; thus, they will find God on the easiest terms possible: moving drugs and women, shaking people down, and getting their props by being known for their violence. They listen to the angriest and most vile garbage imaginable and do so constantly and very loudly. It's all about the money and the cars and the respect, but they don't know how to earn it except by taking it through murder and mischief. It's very sad. Too bad the politicians out there don't have a clue.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:20 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Undignified C-Words
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "Kill 'Em All" by Metallica (the whole album, baby, and REAL loud)
Those strutting little peacocks and hens finally clucked and moseyed their way back into the Texas Senate chamber today and proceded to make an undignified mess of the whole thing. What a bunch of petty turds. The thing I hate most is that, for years to come, their little stunt will receive its commemorations from the Hightower-Richards crowd as something special and brave and defiant. People are never more pathetic than when they manufacture a cause to nostalge over. But these worthless fucks enrage me ---and their futile little interstate tantrum served no purpose whatsoever. Oh, but all hail the conquering heroes when they re-enter the Senate chamber and lead a huge rally of ugly and unwashed South Texans from the strangers' gallery! Hola, amigos! Shut your asses up! This is the Senate chamber of the Texas State Legislature, not the parking lot at the Tejano Ranch. Have some respect for the people and places where democracy lives.

Blustering little shills. Hey, Gonzalo! Aren't you MY senator, too? Where the fuck you been, compadre? Hiding from your responsibilities? The taxpayers have to pay for your sweet pension and health care until the day you kick, prick, so have some backbone and show up for work, you lousy coward. I'm not impressed by your stunt. Not at all. What did it accomplish? You want to keep the people from exercising their rights to be represented in the U.S. Congress by preserving the status quo? That ain't gonna work. I want to see a GOP-dominated U.S. House delegation from Texas. We had it YOUR way for decades; how about a little consideration, you drunk-driving craphound?

Down with the Albuquerque Eleven! Up with roosters coming home to roost!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:06 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
One Hell of a Game
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "We Are the Champions" by Queen
Did y'all see them Cowboys on Monday Night Football? Wheeee! That was one hell of a game, mister! Had everything but a car chase and a love scene in it. Whew! I know Parcells was happy to go home and beat up on those guys a little, especially that Shockey kid. Better luck next time, chumps. Heh, heh. I haven't been this happy about a Cowboys game in a coon's age. Wheeee!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 2:49 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 15 September 2003
Clinton Exits Remission, Goes to Hollywood
Mood:  irritated
Oh, man. Bill Clinton's back out on the hustings, this time as a shill for Gray Davis, the future former governor of California. Clinton is one of that handful of public personalities who can instantaneously evoke an overwhelming nausea in me. He is such a fucking egocentric liar. GO AWAY, you disgraceful liar. The very sound of his voice makes me ill.

Heh, heh. Lookit the way the blacks just gush all over the First Black President in their churches. Why are they so crazy for him? Did he do something for them I don't know about? He sold them out to save his own job and completely wrecked the liberal, welfare statist lobby in the Democratic Party. Yes, indeed, the black middle class grew by leaps and bounds in the 1990s, but it would have done that whether Clinton had been at the helm or not. That's just one reason why these nostalging turds on the Left make me mad: oh, yes, things were so much better under Clinton. As though he were responsible for the economy of the mid to late 90s! It wasn't him, folks. It was a fiscally conservative and responsible Congress, led for the most part by the GOP. He just went along for the ride. That is all.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 2:28 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, 13 September 2003
No Vision
Mood:  down
I don't like being critical of young men who work their asses off out on the field or on a court or anyplace else, but I'm a football fan and I can't help it; I am obligated, regardless of my own athletic abilities, to holler when my teams screw up. And that's what's happening.

The University of Texas' starting quarterback this year is a youngster named Chance Mock. He's waited his turn to be the starter and I'm sure he's a good guy with lots of skills and all that crap, but I have no confidence in him, especially after today's home loss to Arkansas. He made some really lame decisions all day, not the least of which was getting probably half a dozen balls batted back down into his face. What on Earth? It's not that he's short (I think he's six-one or something like that), but with that many batted balls, you're just not paying attention. You've got your mind so intent on some play as it was drawn up that you can't adjust when you've got these huge guys waving away at you. Mock's got no vision.

There will, in fact, be a quarterback controversy this year whether Coach Brown wants it or not. Now, he can either stick Vincent Young in there next week like everyone knows he should have already and be done with the guessing game, or he can let this drag out and start the slow process of disaffection that drives people out of their jobs. Yep: it's that dire. And you wanna know why? Because this year and every subsequent year that we aren't within a nod of the National Championship is going to be considered a failure. Roy Williams didn't come back this year to catch dump-off passes from a guy who says his biggest responsibility is to not fuck up. That ain't gonna get it done, boy.

The clock is ticking, coach. You've got a blue chipper who could start on Sundays riding the pine. Quit being fair and win us the conference.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 10:22 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 12 September 2003
What on Earth?!
Mood:  incredulous
Good Christ! Before I can turn around to eulogize Edward Teller and Larry Hovis comes the news of the deaths of Johnny Cash and John Ritter. The Man in Black's death strikes us with a sense of relief for his physical suffering, but why the fuck is John Ritter dead at the age of 54?! It's shocking. It's indecent. Fifty-four?! Why?

Not incidentally, I hope every one of the shallow shit-for-brains who denied the genius of Johnny Cash's final masterpiece (the video for "Hurt") at the recent MTV Music Awards will choke on the memory of their votes this morning. What vulgar and profane shit did they select instead? Missy Elliott? What garbage. Her contribution to our culture, relative to Mr. Cash's, is reflected in the difference between a grand symphonic orchestra in the fullness of its sublimity and a turpentine-huffing ghetto urchin with a kazoo stuffed up her ass.

"Oh, no, he DI-unth!"

Oh, yes, I DID.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 5:36 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 10 September 2003
Leni ist Kaput
Mood:  crushed out
I was actually sorry to hear of the death of Frau Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler's documentary filmmaker, who died yesterday at the age of 101. I've made sure to include her Fuhrer's name in the opening sentence of her obituary because it is the fairest and unfairest thing I can do. She was a hedger (just like Speer) about her involvement with and true loyalty to the cause of Nazism, but she could so easily retreat into the safehouse of her genius that it really made no difference. What punishment was she supposed to have endured beyond the many decades of her exile and stigma? She was a Nazi once and the world never let her forget it. She was a German and could never stop being that. And Leni was a beautiful woman. You should do yourself the favor of seeing her face when she was younger. And certainly when she was older. It's a package deal, my beloved aesthete. Your fascist idealism had a beginning AND an end.

Leni Riefenstahl was one of the most important filmmakers who ever lived and a true pioneer of many things cinematic. Make sure to see some of her work sometime. It's so damned good you won't believe it's nearly 70 years old.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 3:06 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 9 September 2003
No More Prime Ministers from Arafat's Clutch
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "Killing an Arab" by The Cure
What the situation in Israel and [Palestine] needs is a great big coffee enema in the form of Yasser Arafat's assassination. Israel needs to stop pulling its punches and fire a giant batch of missiles into Arafat's crib. Sure, there'll be hell to pay, but it'll stir up such a hornet's nest that the Israelis can use the reaction as the pretext they need to eliminate everyone in the al-Aqsa Brigades (as well as Hamas and Islamic Jihad) they can find.

Arabs only respect power. They don't give a damn about negotiations and crap like that. If they see that the heel of Uncle Sam's boot is firmly pressed down against their windpipe, they'll start singing "The Eyes of Texas," by God!


Posted by Toby Petzold at 5:14 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 8 September 2003
The President's Speech
Well, I didn't find the President's speech to be comedic. He was probably anxious to even have to make such an address since it basically brought him to the admission that we need some help in Iraq. And it's true: in lots of ways, we underestimated what we were going to need going in. But why can't our so-called friends help us out now that we have removed the regime? We have a fait accompli and need only the help that allies should be able to supply if they and the world at large are truly interested in the movement toward peace that we Americans have begun.

No matter what, the President has taken on a very great mission and we are right to see it through to its conclusion. A liberated Iraq and a liberated Afghanistan are worth our sacrifices. We will see the end of the theocracy in Iran and we will someday walk freely in the streets of Syria and Lebanon.

But all that is sick in Islam must first be purged. That will take very great violence. But those peoples will be freed, whether it takes their spattered blood or grateful consent. Makes no difference to me.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 7:28 AM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, 6 September 2003
Fuck Dick Gephardt
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "Chewing George Lucas' Chocolate" by the Butthole Surfers
Who does this chump think he is calling the President a "miserable failure"? What's the point of such ad hominem nonsense? Gephardt is the miserable failure as best I can tell. Lying about his father being a true blue Teamster who duked it out from the Left when the poor guy was actually a Republican who felt pressured into joining the Teamsters because he didn't want to get blackballed and who disliked the wishy-washy Democratic craphounds his own son later joined. Nice way to honor the old man, you bleached-out bag o' sauerkraut, by lying about his true convictions. Dick Gephardt is Anheuser-Busch's Congessional piggybank from way back: total company man, if you get my drift. I wouldn't piss on him if his overstuffed wallet was on fire. He defended Clinton and he defended Gore and for both those crimes I would never defend him or waste my vote on his behalf. Fuck Dick Gephardt.


Posted by Toby Petzold at 7:34 PM CDT | Post Comment | Permalink

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