Now Playing: "The Stroke" by Billy Squier
The local paper's cartoonist Ben Sargent had one of his little drawings in there yesterday featuring a kid learning about who wins elections in America. He asks the enormous-assed schoolmaster (an anthropomorphized GOP elephant) if it's the one with the most votes who wins. The Republican mascot dismisses the child's naivete as he writes "Recount, Redistrict, Recall" on the blackboard.
So, what part of this dog-flogging hippy sack of shit's cartoon ISN'T a lie?
Recount: Other than the wall-eyed and paranoiac Leftist press, no one believes that Al Gore could possibly have won any recount of the 2000 Presidential vote in Florida. The only exception to this is if everyone had suddenly adopted a completely unprecedented and monstrously unfair and illegal standard by which to conduct a recount of the undervote in a handful of Democratically-controlled counties. Do you stupid fucks even know what that means? Remember it as I do: Al Gore placed this country's political stability in jeopardy because, apparently, he believed that any ballot which had no indication of a choice for President must somehow have been a ballot cast for him! It's really as simple as that. He and his idiot enablers actually believed that they could somehow divine the intention of a voter from a blank ballot. And let us also be clear that all of that talk about minority-intimidation and ballot-box chicanery was a bunch of lies. Al Gore lost the vote in Florida because of the utter incompetence of both the typical Floridian Democratic voter and the idiots of that very same party who ran the show in those counties where the most fuck-ups were committed. You can't blame ANYBODY for that but DEMOCRATS THEMSELVES. Now, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP LYING ABOUT HOW THE BUSH FAMILY RIGGED THE VOTE IN FLORIDA, YOU STUPID KNOW-NOTHING FUCKWADS!
Redistrict: Again, Sargent, who should spend more time studying the Constitution than hanging out in splatter-booths at local adult bookstores, should know that redistricting is a function reserved to the state legislature. The current House district map was one drawn up by a Federal judge. The one before that was drawn up by a bunch of gerrymandering-minded Democrats who came up with boundary lines that created an artificially-high number of Democrat-controlled districts. There was nothing the Republicans could do about that then, and there isn't much the Dums can do about it now. Except to whine and be pussies and run away to other states. Tough. I only wish that that Plloyd Doggett would lose his seat, but there's too many high-profiled Dums in this town to allow that.
Recall: Sargent rounds out his lies with a reference to this evening's gubernatorial recall and replacement in California. Is our local wanker unaware that California law provides for the recall of its governor? That's what the citizens of California did. Constitutionally, passionately, and righteously. That's tough shit for you, Ben. Why don't you go draw a picture of the President with a [Charlie Chaplin] moustache?
A lot of Democratic analysts and operatives today know that their base is too stupid and uneducated to realize when they are being lied to, and, so, they feel free to persist with these perversions of the truth. They wish to prey on the average dumbass' poor memory and weak grasp of History by insinuating wherever and whenever they can that the President and conservatives in general are subverting democracy and are trying to establish a Nazi regime in Washington. The methods of losers like Carville, Begala, Franken, and Streisand are beneath contempt. Real Americans ought to corn-dog them with red-hot fasces.
Hey! If you're going to be guilty of the crime, you may as well commit it!